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Let me first start with a little history. Before the babies, before the husband I was Megan Kellie Cuaderno, a little girl who was born in Monterey California. I was born into an awesome family that took life as it came, did it with fun and God in the center. Life evolves as we all get older, but I can tell you I had an amazing childhood. I am 1 of 4 siblings. I truly believe many factors in life help shape the uniqueness of each person. You want to know me? Know my family. I have an awesome older brother Ryan, who can be quiet if you don’t know him, who’s smart and amazing at EVERYTHING he does. He has grown into an amazing man of God who, though I don’t get to too often, genuinely love spending time with. As a kid I remember him being your typical bigger brother. He loved and cared for me, but I think there were some things in life that were different for us because I couldn’t play catch with him, or jump in the lake with him but I still knew he loved me. I love watching home videos ((my dad recorded us a lot)) and seeing him play so sweetly with me. I know Ry has had to swallow the reality about our life, that he is the only one out of the 4 of us who isn’t affected by our disease, but I PRAY that he never feels guilty, never questions why only him and never wishes he could change his life, but instead just keeps being the awesomely cool brother he is. There’s my Austin Boy. Ok he’s 22 but I remember Austin as a baby like it was yesterday. He was my baby. I brought him into my preschools Show and Tell because he was what I wanted to share with my little world. Austin too has SMA II. He is probably the most brilliant man I know. He is almost done with college and will be a doctor someday I’m sure. Even though he’s my little brother, we experience a lot of life changes together, getting new wheelchairs, meeting new Drs, back surgeries, figuring out tricks to pick things up with kitchen utensils haha. Austin is quiet and extremely witty. I’m the more outgoing and vocal one, but what people don’t often notice is Austin is more independent than I am. He helps me more than others realize. Aust you’re still my pride and joy and I’m proud of you. And of course, my sister Kaitlyn. Oh, if you know Kaitlyn you know she is beautiful, fun, feisty, loud and loves my babies more than anything but let me share Kaitlyn as a baby. She came out on a mission. She was ((and still is)) a determined little girl. My mom always said if she was the first born, she would be an only child. Kaitlyn and I shared a room from when she was born until I was in high school. I remember when she was a little one she figured out how to climb out of her crib, pick out her clothes, open the door and walk out. I can assure you she didn’t learn that from me haha ((as I lay in my bed watching the whole thing trying to convince her to go back to bed)) Kaitlyn has never been diagnosed with SMA but she has some weakness that prevents her from some things. She isn’t in a wheelchair and I pray and believe she never will be. Growing up we didn’t totally get along, but as we have become adults she’s one of my best friends. We are very different but very similar. My parents, Ken and Kathy, are beautiful, crazy people. Imagine being them, raising a young family. 2 of out your 4 children never walked. Your youngest showing signs. How heartbreaking. But I can tell you they have never shown the heartbreak. You know what they show daily? That life, though it can be hectic, is fun and beautiful and God is still good. Growing up, my parents did everything with us. I mean EVERYTHING. Even things I begged my mom not to make me do like snow ski or ride our jet ski, but always thanked her later because it was a blast. People wonder why they don’t see my chair? Why I’m so “normal”? Why my life is great? It’s because of their attitudes and love of life. The Cuaderno household was full of life, obstacles, loud people, and lots of stories. These people have helped shape who I am today. 

I was reflecting on my life today as the house was silent ((which can be rare around here)) and I was telling God I was ready for something new. Not like the new house we just moved into or the “new” baby that was asleep in his crib but something for me. I had no idea what but as I sat in the kitchen, Alyssa ((I’ll share more about who she is later because she’s too amazing for this short blog)) walked out to the kitchen and very randomly said “Megan, you should start a blog!” I don’t like writing… I don’t know what to say… I don’t think anyone will read it but hey it’s something for me so… Here goes my life from my “shoes”

ok yes, if you see my closet you’ll see I do wear shoes lol but on the most important occasions (( prom, my wedding day, when I had my kids)) I didn’t have shoes on. Why? Because I didn’t need to. For those who will read this and don’t know me personally I’ll share very briefly. I’m in a wheelchair. That’s it. Haha ok I’ll share more. I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy type II I’m a fully dependent, independent woman who loves life. Feel free to ask me questions or google it 🙂 but I must say life from my view can be just like your everyday moms life … except completely different. I’m hoping to be able to share my pretty rad life with… well,the whole world I guess.

you probably won’t see many pictures of me but I’m hoping you’ll get to see the world through my eyes, my beautiful babies, my handsome husband, my amazing friends, my faithful God, the daily life of weak hands but strong wills and who knows what else will make the list

Meg

In your life time everyone needs to find “That one friend”

That one friend who lets you show up at his house in the middle of the night just to talk. That one friend who doesn’t judge you for being crazy. That one friend who stands by your side on your wedding day and tells you you are making the best choice in your life to marry “her”. That one friend who you can do ridiculously crazy stuff with but still know you’re safe. That one friend who sits in the hospital room and tells you everything’s going to be ok with your baby boy and you believe him. That one friend who tackles your wife’s crazy DIY projects because you aren’t handy. That one friend you join a cover band with, stick around for a while then both quit on the same day. That one friend who you go on family vacations with. That one friend you can be on worship team with for 10 years and still love playing with every Sunday. That one friend who teaches you important life skills like how to pop the bottom off a glass bottle with your bare hands. That one friend who goes to your house when you’re at work and helps your wife fix her water heater, or garbage disposal, or light fixtures, or toilet, (really this list goes on and on and on) That one friend who drives your 26 foot moving truck across the country with you. That one friend who takes time off work to help you build ramps for your wife in your new home. That one friend who truly is like a brother. 

Eli thank you for being that friend to Jake.

As his wife I can honestly say I don’t know how we would have made it through the past 8 years without your friendship. You have been what Jake, and often time what I, needed in some of our toughest times in life. You are constant and a true friend. You have been such a place of safety and wisdom, comfort and fun. You are an amazing man and an incredible friend. I pray that even the 1500 mile distance won’t change what you are to Jake and I. My heart hurts thinking you aren’t just around the corner anymore but I pray God will allow us and our families to live life together again

I asked Jake today what you’ve taught him in life. I thought he would have funny answers but here is what he said.

Eli has taught me…”The big dog doesn’t have to bark”, “Not to be scared and to take on new challenges”, “Life is supposed to be fun”, “Silent is strong”, “Be honest, it’s ok”, “How to be awesome and not have an ego”, “Help people as much as you can”, “Laugh”

As I sat (and cried) and read his answers I realized all these characteristics are how I would describe Jake. So thank you. Because you have helped shape Jake into the amazing man he is today.

We love you Eli

 

  

I’m sitting here in the airport on our way back HOME to Tennessee and my heart couldn’t be happier. I’m here with my husband and my two sweet boys and I feel complete. Of course it is bitter sweet as we say goodbye again to our family and friends. But, I’m glad to be heading back. 

The kiddos and I have spent the past two months in Arizona with and without Jake and boy was all of our faith tested. 

Here’s a teeny tiny bit of back story, Jake has lived in Arizona his entire life and for me since I was 10, we met there, found Jesus there, got married there, had our two boy there’s and built a beautiful life full of friends and family. In February of last year we felt like God was calling us to make a HUGE move and pick up our family from everything we have ever known and move across the country to Nashville. We had a glimpse of why God was calling us there, but as you would know if you walk with Jesus, He doesn’t always show us the entire picture. I feel as though He gives you just enough to keep you trusting Him and clinging to His promises He’s given you. SO in August (as in 6 months ago) we made the big move. Though we know God called us there and it is a BEAUTIFUL place, both landscape and people wise, it still was an extremely hard transition. In December we originally planned to go to Arizona to spend the holidays with family and then planned to return to Tennessee the beginning of January. There were, however, some changes in the plan that we needed to adjust to. Our close friend and care giver decided she was ready to move back home. This obviously meant some big change was coming for us. This season had days of questioning God, what seemed like huge set backs or impossible situations and talk of possibly moving back Arizona. That wasn’t ever the desire but our family has needs that just can’t be pushed aside. We of course were willing to do whatever our family needed, but something in us just didn’t have peace about moving back to Arizona yet. So with the new change we knew the kids and I couldn’t return to Tennessee until we found a replacement, however Jake needed to return back to work. So Jake and I said our good bye to each other on January 4. We didn’t know when we would see each other again besides FaceTime, we didn’t know when we were going to return to our home in Tennessee, we didn’t know who was going to be our new caregiver or how anything was going to work out, but we did know one thing, God knew. That’s all that we had to hold on to. So after two months of being in Arizona, after many conversations and prayers to God we are finally on our way home. God gave us the grace and peace we needed to get through a tough season in our journey. Jake and I prayed and fasted and He of course met us! We are heading to Tennessee with new adventure ahead. 

The season we are in is a tough one but there are a few things I’ve held on to during the past two months, things we learned and things we are grateful for 1. Jake and I learned to lean closer to God even when our situation sucked, to TRUST that nothing is a surprise to Him and that He really does have our best interest. 2. We have amazing family and friend support, HUGE thank you to my parents for taking us in the past two months and being so gracious and patient 3. I’m grateful for a marriage that doesn’t fall apart under hard times but we grow closer, Jake, thank you for standing firm in what you know God has said about our family and thank you for keeping me focused on what’s important. 4 Great victory comes from great battles. We feel like we are on the side of victory finally but man was it a battle getting here. But Praise God! The lyrics of Do It Again by Elevation Church has been my anthem for weeks. “I’m still in Your hands, this is my confidence, You’ve never failed me”